Online Dating Part 2 - Getting Laid Quickly

So I don't know what's wrong with my city, but when I checked my local Craigslist personal ads today, about 90% of the posts were for guys looking for guys. There's also like 20 posts per day. WTF!! 

Anyways, enough about my gay ass city, and onto more dating sites.

TODAY'S THEME IS GETTING LAID QUICKLY (GLQ)

Your first stop should be adultfriendfinder.com: if you're under 30 and relatively good looking/popular, it's probably just as easy to use Facebook. However, if you're looking to be discrete, check out Adult Friend Finder.

If you believe this dating website's ads, then you'll understand that you have been blessed with a city that is the home to the hottest guys/girls ON THE PLANET. And, lucky for you, they just love to put half-naked pictures of themselves on the internet. Obviously, these ads are fabricated based on your IP address, and you have little chance of actually finding a person that looks like that. However, those who want to GLQ cannot be picky.

GetItOn.com is another good place for GLQ. The best part is that, right from signup, you can specify what kind of relationship you're looking for, and these are your choices:

1) 1 on 1 sex
2) Threesomes
3) Group sex (4 or more)
4) Cyber sex 
5) Cyber sex with cams

The next question is "Describe your sexual appetite" (uhh, voracious? I dunno, nobody has ever asked me that)

Anyways, GetItOn makes no bones about it: their job is to get you laid fast.


The last dating website I'll be looking at is LavaLife.com, another site that has gained infamy through its ridiculous and annoying advertisements.

Nevertheless, LavaLife is the cleanest looking website of the three, and it also allows you to specify which kind of love you're looking for (dating, relationship, or intimate). It has plenty of real members, at a supposed 15 million. 

If you've just come back horny from the club at 2:00am, and you don't have any other options, I'd say these dating websites are your best bet for GLQ. Your new friend may not look like this:


But hey, have another shot and she may just start looking like that.



87 comments:

Jay.CA said...
March 14, 2011 at 11:08 PM

hmmm...sofia.....

rinns said...
March 14, 2011 at 11:24 PM

Can't say I've ever had the urge to GLQ.
but
"But hey, have another shot and she may just start looking like that." made me lol n__n

Full HD Wallpapers said...
March 14, 2011 at 11:52 PM

GLQ is my new favorite Acronym :-P

Major.Mack said...
March 14, 2011 at 11:53 PM

nice rack.
My profile says. "My name is Major Mack, I am super hard and ready"

skinned sheep said...
March 15, 2011 at 12:08 AM

yeah i might have to try that out for sure! heheheh thx!

Lhosreiff said...
March 15, 2011 at 1:21 AM

GLQ is silly.

mac-and-me said...
March 15, 2011 at 5:04 AM

nice advice

thenitefalls said...
March 15, 2011 at 5:37 AM

Online dating isn't my thing I rather talk to chicks in person lol

Spike said...
March 15, 2011 at 6:32 AM

erm...okay...thanks

Meghan Moran said...
March 15, 2011 at 7:12 AM

I see lava life adverts all the time.

Poetry of the Day said...
March 15, 2011 at 7:30 AM

hmm im not sure

Random Fan said...
March 15, 2011 at 8:00 AM

What about fling.com!?!

Chuck said...
March 15, 2011 at 8:45 AM

Post your car on autotrader (for a bit more than it's worth). Turn down offers from ugly people until a nice looking one comes along. Give them your phone number 'incase they have any questions about the car'. She called me back within a week and we've been together for 4 years now. Still have the car :)

Laughing Vault said...
March 15, 2011 at 11:40 AM

thank god i dont need this for now :D

Erika said...
March 15, 2011 at 1:09 PM

I'm glad to say that I've never got so desperate that I've joined a dating site XD

Followed.

Aaron M. Gipson said...
March 15, 2011 at 1:46 PM

Thank God my horniness has never been at a level where a site like this seems like a good idea. There are some lonesome people in this here world of ours...how much do you want to be Eleanor Rigby used a site like this?

A Hermit said...
March 15, 2011 at 1:48 PM

ehh no not for me

Shutterbug said...
March 15, 2011 at 4:27 PM

I don't think I will be using those sites any time soon...

Copyboy said...
March 15, 2011 at 8:03 PM

I don't know what's more incredible – the info you presented or that shelby used the word Laid!

Hmmm

Arcita said...
March 16, 2011 at 12:03 AM

another entertaining and informative post about online dating. why do you know so much about this stuff anyway? are you searching for an e-romeo? ;p

Merlyy said...
March 16, 2011 at 3:02 AM

So glad I have someone I have sex with yet^^

Tony Storm said...
March 16, 2011 at 7:12 AM

damn those things are gigantic

Assange No.1 Fan said...
March 16, 2011 at 8:48 AM

Facebook is an online dating site.

Patti D. said...
March 16, 2011 at 9:02 AM

yeah, thanks for the info, I guess

Jung said...
March 16, 2011 at 5:26 PM

Don't think I would ever try this, but maybe if I get desperate/drunk enough.

'Auana said...
March 16, 2011 at 9:36 PM

people actually use that stuff? >.> just get up some courage and talk to a girl

Sesam Burger said...
March 17, 2011 at 1:42 AM

onlite dating is just sad IMO.

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Dootzkie said...
March 17, 2011 at 6:27 AM

Like i said before, Online Dating is for socially ackward people. Either coz they can't find time to socialize or coz of some fears from the early age

duffboi said...
March 17, 2011 at 12:18 PM

haven't gotten to that point yet, myself... hehe

imnotabot said...
March 17, 2011 at 2:06 PM

thanks! LOOKS COOL

Grafted said...
March 17, 2011 at 2:18 PM

Hopefully I will never need this advice

Rachel Neilson said...
March 17, 2011 at 6:07 PM

Good info, but when I want a boyfriend I go to www.neopets.com.

ChefJRH said...
March 17, 2011 at 6:39 PM

Hah, its weird that people actually use these.

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